This morning I woke up believing that I had an extra hour before I had to get my oldest to her dentist appointment. Shortly after 8:00 am, I received a call from the dentist’s office, asking if we were going to make it for our 8:00 appointment, because we were now five minutes late. Uggg great!
After going through the hassle of rescheduling, reprimanding the hubby for not telling me the correct time, rushing my daughter to school before the first bell rang, heading to the grocery store with the three year old in tow, and then coming home to a house that needed to be cleaned before running out again for the little one’s swim lessons, I felt defeated, frustrated and slightly resentful. None of the tasks I had on my to-do list were a surprise, as I was prepared for the mundane duties at hand, but when things went a little awry, my mood did too.
Then, I decided to do something -- stop. I put the groceries away, took my youngest upstairs to watch a cartoon and sat down at my computer to put together an unofficial book soundtrack for The Nostalgia Effect.
In the midst of the life's daily chaos, we sometimes forget how important it is to do something, anything, that will feed and nourish our soul. Though I consider myself a pro at organizing, planning and executing whatever is handed to me in regards to family life, it is not what fulfills me at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, I love my husband (by God, I wrote a whole book about it), but I still desire that one thing that will make me feel like....well, me.
Who "me" is is ever evolving. In the last year, I have experienced a lot of changes in regards to my career and personal life. During that transition I fell in LOVE with the craft of writing and I fell in love with how it made me feel even more. When I sit down and write anything, even a paragraph, I feel like I have created something and THAT makes me feel good.
Unfortunately, between starting a new part-time job, studying for a test on a subject I am not sure I am even interested in, and schlepping the kids to various activities, my writing "career" has taken a major backseat. It's actually in the trunk and THAT makes me sad.
BUT, there is a silver lining. Even though I have the most supportive husband who is willing to take care of the kids and do anything I ask of him, I just can't sit down and start writing. Just like with sex, I have to be "in the mood" or it will feel like a chore (sorry if that's TMI). However, just doing something creative, whether it be promoting The Nostalgia Effect, making a board on Pinterest, creating a song playlist or simply writing a paragraph in my next book, it makes me feel like I took a little time to nurture what is mine and mine alone.
I have decided to informally commit to doing one activity each day that helps keep my "essence" intact. If I don't get to the laundry until later in the day, the bed isn't perfectly made, or the house doesn't look like an image out of Better Homes and Garden's, it's OK!
But what's not OK is feeling stifled, resentful or unsatisfied because I didn't take just a little time to do what makes me happy. Maybe I won't be able to sit down and write a chapter for a few weeks, but just getting to write anything at all, even my blog, makes my soul happy and therefore keeps my essence intact.
I don't think it is selfish to take some time for yourself, and you shouldn't let everyday stresses overshadow you and your needs. I hope all of you take the time to do the same and find one little act each day that will help keep your essence balanced and satisfied. After all, a better YOU is better for everyone.
Be well my friends,